The Return of the Great Sue Sylvester
by GleeFTW
Summary: Sue Sylvester drinks a magical protein shake and is determined to bring down that awful glee club, once and for all. This is rated K , but some elements might be more T, just so you know.
1. Chapter 1

This is written from Sue's point of view.

I obviously don't own Glee or Fox or anything.

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Chapter 1

After I was unfairly banned, obviously of jealousy, I decided to go to Alaska instead of Boca, because it would make me physically stronger. I went to the North Pole , and I went Eskimo hunting. You may be asking, "Sue Sylvester, how could you possibly do that?" to which I respond, Sue Sylvester takes no prisoners. Any one of those frozen cavemen could be supporters of that disgusting glee club. I hunted 6. I also caught a whale, and I made an Eskimo-whale protein shake. Turns out it had magic powers, and I'm going to use mine to get back at Figgins, Will Schuester, that mentally incompetent girlfriend of Will Schuester, and the group of musical misfits known as THE GLEE CLUB. I will also channel Adolf Hitler and use my powers to become dictator of the world, and wipe out anyone in the world who is in a Glee Club, and supports Glee Clubs. First, I'm going to go after the weakest of the bunch, the children. I'm going to emotionally and possibly physically knock them out one by one.


	2. Back to Lima!

Back to Lima!

Who are the emotionally weakest of the glee brats? I don't know for sure, but I'm going to have to go with Finn and Quinn, Quinn because of that baby and Finn because his life is worthless. So those are the first two I'm going after. I know what I'll do. I'm going to re-enforce the fact that Finn's life isn't worth living, and blame it on the glee kids, causing Finn to both have a childish diva meltdown, and quit glee club. Ah, Sue, your brain is in prime condition. For Quinn, I'm going to taunt her on MySpace, just like that delightful individual who taunted a sensitive little brat into committing suicide. Quinn isn't quite juvenile enough to commit suicide, but it will drive her to extremes. Come on, she'd rather have a baby than be a Cheerio? What a disgrace to humanity.


	3. Sue Starts a Social Networking aAccount

I don't own Glee, I'm just a huge fan

The email addresses and usernames used are completely imaginary and made up.

If you have any problems with figuring out who all the accounts belong too, I tried to make it pretty obvious, but feel free to comment and I'll reply.

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I'm starting with Quinn. She's the ex-cheerio, after all. I'm currently making a social networking account.

Password: yourworstenemywatchoutlosers

Full Name: Sue Hercules Adolf Hitler Arnold Schwarzenegger Sylvester

Date of Birth: January 18, 1981

Gender: Oh, how am I supposed to choose? Oh fine, Male it is.

Username: GLEEKIDSSUCK.

Good, it's done the creation process. Still though, I feel much more pathetic, since clearly reproduction is the work of weaklings and by making one of these accounts it's somewhat reproducing me. Oh, wait, I'm not that stupid, that just boosts my power! I can pick on vulnerable young children on the internet! How delightful.

Search: Quinn Fabray, Lima Ohio.

1 Result.

_CoolcheerioX0X0_

16

Lima, Ohio

This was too easy. I'm going to post some comments on her profile. Hmm, only 14 friends? That figures. What losers would want to befriend a pregnant girl? Let's see these friends of hers.

_Britnythecherio _

Wow, she can't even spell her own name.

_XXsantanaXX _

At least one of the cheerios still has some sanity.

_Mohawkmachoman _

Of all the usernames in the world, come on???

_Futurecelebrity3_

Oh how I hate that awful egotistical diva.

_Wheelchairrockstar _

What a loser. He doesn't have enough motivation to walk. I laugh in the face of those types of people.

_.MercedesBenz. _

Do I have an opinion on her? No, but she's in that dreaded Glee Club.

_Fashionablegleeboy_

He uses Glee in his username? Wow, looks like someone really doesn't have a life.

_Principalfiggins_

I'm speechless.

_Otherasian._

Does he have a name????

_XxXgothicasianXxX_

Why is she even in Glee? It's not very goth-emo-gothicLolita-whatever friendly.

_Thegleeclubteacher_

Really, Will Schuester? Are you THAT pathetic?!?!

_Mattthefootballguy_

What kind of loser doesn't talk? I think he's just too LAZY to open his mouth,that's what.

_Finnistheman_

Really, Frankenteen? You're that desperate that you're still friends with her?

_Bambieyes_

Wouldn't Erma be too concerned about keyboard germs for one of these?

This is too easy.


	4. Bringing down Quinn Fabray, or not?

Thank you guys for the reviews, and for reading the story, I totally appreciate it.

Again, I do not own the amazingness that is Glee, and I probably never will.

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_CoolcheerioX0X0_

**Add as Friend**

Oh. This is too easy. But my username is suspicious. Now I have to change it. NOT FUN.

Old Username: GLEEKIDSSUCK

I might as well pose as one of the glee kids. But, all of them already have accounts. Oh, who cares, so many of them have more than one. But who should I pose as?

New Username: _gaykid_

Okay, NOW I'm going to press add as friend. No way she can afford to deny that avant-garde little fairy elf as a friend, because Glee Club's all she has. Wow, now THAT'S pathetic.

Oh, I've got a notification.

_CoolcheerioX0X0 _has accepted your friend request.

Was Quinn always this naive around the glee kids, or has the gremlin in her stomach changed her personality? No, it's the baby, Quinn was a smart, though very sexual, young girl, and no musical group of misfits, OF ALL PEOPLE, would change that.

I now have all access. This feels so good.

First comment on your profile, Quinn.

_I hope your baby isn't a dirty slut like you._

A reply, already.

_Is that you, Sue Sylvester?_

Did she see my profile picture? Was I really stupid enough to not change that? Never mind, for now I'll post a photo of sone sort of fugly million dollar purse, since I know that gay kid lives on that sort of trash.

_Get out of my life, Sue._

Time for me to reply.

_This isn't Sue, this is _

Crap, now I need to pull up gay kid's real profile.

_This is uh, Kurt Hummel._

_No it's not, Sue._

Busted, I need to try again later. I guess those maternity clothes haven't affected her as much as I thought. If there's three things I hate, it's Quinn Fabray, babies, and being wrong. Today I was defeated by all three, and it SUCKS.


	5. Meanwhile, at McKinley High

**This one isn't from Sue's perspective BTW, I just decided it was necessary to go over what's happening back at McKinley with Glee Club and the Cheerios. But, there are a few mentions of her.**

**A new character is introduced. This chapter is in her perspective. I will post a picture on my profile of what she kind of looks like in my mind.**

**Once again, I sadly do not own Glee, and I most likely never will.**

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**_The Assembly_**

In black shorts and a white tank top, I felt a bit sloppily dressed, but I am the new "Cheerios" coach, after all. I walked up to the stage in the McKinley High auditorium. Principal Figgins walked up and began speaking, in his trademark Indian accent.

"Hello students. I am very sorry to be disrupting your learning, but this is a very important assembly. Meet our new Cheerios coach who will surely be a good addition to our staff, Coach Sarah Berkshire. Now I will allow her to introduce herself to use further."

"Hey kids!", I excitedly said in a peppy voice, hoping to make a nice impression. "How many of you are cheerleaders?" I asked the audience. About 20 hands shot up, and they were all sitting together, all in their uniforms, and isolated from everyone else, except the jocks. "Well you're not anymore!", I said, still retaining my happy tone. A few cheerleaders looked shocked, some looked offended, and some just looked confused. And some non-cheerleaders looked relieved. "Scared you! Haha. That's because I'm giving the McKinley High cheerios a complete makeover, both physical and mental. We will have open tryouts, so that anyone with skill is given a fair chance, and that means if you were a cheerleader before, you have to try out again. We will also improve the cheerleader uniforms, according to what you guys want. So I hope you guys enjoy my leadership, and I'm sure that I will!"

Principal Figgins returned to the platform.

"Assembly over. Everyone is dismissed and is to return to their classes."

Many students began chattering while they were getting up, and Principal Figgins and various other teachers approached me to wish me good luck.

**_

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Tryouts

Around 50 students gathered on the bleachers.

I looked at the sign-up sheet. First up, a girl named Santana Lopez.

"Santana Lopez".

I called her name and a Latina girl in a cheerleading uniform came up. I guess she'd been a Cheerio before. Her routine did look very rehearsed, and it involved flips, cartwheels, and lots of enthusiasm. She seems pretty promising.

Next up, a girl named Rachel Berry. Her signature had a gold star next to it. A Jewish-looking girl wearing possibly the preppiest outfit I've ever seen walked up. She did a good cheer though. She's very confident.

Next is three people. A well-groomed boy in a glittery bodysuit, an Asian girl in a black leotard, and a blond girl in the same leotard as the Asian girl. They did the Single Ladies dance. The boy said that he was made fun of by Sue Sylvester, pretty similar to what I've heard from other students. That's very sad, a student being bullied, and of all people, A TEACHER. Another thing struck me as surprising though. The blonde girl could not spell her name and didn't know her own last name. I asked her if school was hard for her, which she replied yes to. I'm going to need to have a talk with Principal Figgins about her, this isn't normal.

Next is a girl named Quinn Fabray, who is pretty obviously pregnant. But she could cheer. I'm just concerned for the baby's safety.

More auditions went by, some good, some bad. I did overhear though, after the try-outs, some kids discussing if this might split up Glee Club. They seemed worried. I'll try to make it not, though.

I noticed a elderly woman in an green Adidas sweatsuit watching us. I hear that's Sue Sylvester, the old coach. I hope she's no trouble.


	6. Sue Spys on the Cheerios

**Sue is watching a Cheerios practice to find out what's going on, to have more information on bringing the school down.**

**Again, I'm obviously not wealthy enough to be the owner of Glee.**

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Despicable._

That new cheerleading coach is such a soft, tender donut. Just like WILL SCHUESTER and his little mouse of a lover. I bet he recruited her. She's just another thing he uses to express his obvious lack of a sex life. She's having try-outs. Why? She's already got a half-decent Cheerios squad. They'd be fully decent if they'd stop having babies and twitching, but they are good enough for internationals due to my strong leadership and discipline. What really was the point of firing me? I cannot believe who's trying out. QUINN FABRAY, Barbra Streisand, gay kid, Asian, Aretha, even Frankenteen is trying out. It's like they're not completely satisfied by only being in Glee Club and they want to challenge the social standards of high school. Is she questioning Brittany's intelligence? Only I can do that. And is Brittany going along with it? What an evil little demon. I hate the new Cheerios coach. I need to step in.

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**After the Cheerios Practice**

I'm now approaching that vile cockroach who's taken over my Cheerios. No way they can be under her awful influence.

"Hello Emma Pillsbury", I said to her.

"What?" She's trying to play dumb. What a bitch.

"You're Will Schuester's new sex toy."

"No. I would never do anything with a coworker."

"Don't play dumb with me, you vicious devil. You know perfectly well what you're doing. You're trying to balance destroying the school while love-making to the Spanish teacher slash dysfunctional singing dustmop. I bet you're charmed by the dirty nest on his head that he calls a hairdo. Oh, and only I can point out Brittany's mental emptiness."

"A lot of the kids are hurt because you harassed them. That's something to be ashamed of."

"It works. They need it."

_I can't believe she's trying to threaten me. PURE EVIL._

"They don't need bullying. And it's the small things you bug them about."

"I wouldn't call someone's race, intelligence, sexuality, and or height a small thing. That's what defines them!"

"I'm glad you don't work her anymore. You're a terrible role model."

"Oh, no one would say that."

"This is a waste of time. Bye."

She surrendered. I really am amazing. Now, to blackmail Figgins.

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**Please comment if there's anything you want to know or happen in the upcoming chapters. That'd be really nice and I'll try to accommodate all requests.**


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